please come you make the beer taste better
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
