I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
