why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize