We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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