He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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