Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
