We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
