youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
