Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
