..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
being pregnant is like rehab
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
