I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
