ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize