Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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