You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
