Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
