i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize