So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm passing your future prison.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
