do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
