and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
