Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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