We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
