imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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