covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
