It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
