Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
