u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
where does the pee come out of this thing
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
