the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She bit a glass in half.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
