how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
