meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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