Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
