I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
