Welp...herpes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
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Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize