Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
