Welp...herpes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
