I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize