You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
