And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
