Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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