Will you blow on my dice?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
