We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
