just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
