No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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