I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
