lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize