i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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