Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize