i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This show inspires me to have sex in space
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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