we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
