There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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