hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
