drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
