well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
40s are totally the cure
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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