The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
