two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
