It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
