This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
