If i come over, it means nothing
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
