Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
