Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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