Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
