I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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