But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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