So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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