Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
