i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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