this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
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