We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
