I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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