she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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