Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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