Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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